Friday, November 28, 2008

Living in the Present

11:17 AM by Christi Bowman

Someone asked me how things were going the other day, and my response caught me off guard. I said "GREAT things are going GREAT...I am finding myself in a new phase of life." The "great" part did not capture my attention, God has been more than abundantly good to me this past year...it was my off the cuff "new phase of life" comment that rolled off my tongue that caught me by surprise. In hindsight I have always been able to look back and recognize when a "new phase of life" began, but I have never been able to presently acknowledge the feeling of actively being brought into a "new phase of life."

I am experiencing and living life in the present! I am learning in the present! I am changing in the present! I am not in the all to familiar place where I must look back at my life and acknowledge the presence of a God I do not possess the ability to sense or know in the now. I know Him, see Him, and can acknowledge His presence right now! I am experiencing Him in everything I participate in...whether it is parenting, friendship, relationship or sex. I am able to understand His design and learn more about Him and His character and His interaction with us through His creation, His gifts, and His sacraments.

I listen, I can hear Him, and through Him I have the ability to respond to His guidance right now. I learn, and I change...in the present. For the first time I find myself in a place where I am NOT having to learn the hard way.

I LOVE this place...there is freedom to really LIVE here and to enjoy the LIFE He gave me!

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Saturday, November 22, 2008

Healing through Hurt.

9:27 PM by Christi Bowman

My GOD is an EXCEEDINGLY MAGNIFICENT GOD and He has been BEYOND EXCESSIVELY GOOD to me. His ways are not my ways nor are His thoughts my thoughts. He is so completely unconventional yet He is so boundlessly wise. He makes all things beautiful, even hardened hearts like mine, in His time.

My husband refers to it as the "perfect storm". I had just completed my first Spirit filled weekend away from home. I was reading "Pagan Christianity", and my home church had turned on me. I was ready to walk away from church as I knew it and begin seeking church as I knew it could be.

In walked GOD.

He started by giving me Revelations 3:7-13, and I thought, YES, God is on my side! Then I read a post by AnitaO, on another blog I occasionally write on..."I am Done With" and I found myself being deeply convicted by the lack of love I was feeling towards the "church". I began to pray for love; knowing He would give it to me because I was asking in His name for something He wanted me to have.

As I was praying for love I was dealt a devastating blow by a friend already involved in this present set of circumstances and I felt my heart physically turn against her. I felt my friend becoming dead to me. I was talking on the phone with my husband at the time and I was able to verbally describe every ugly emotion I was feeling, which helped to bring the condition of my heart more into the light. My husband was passionately advocating that we go to her so that the relationship could be restored and I was refusing on the grounds of how badly I had been hurt.

At that same moment I was also being convicted by how I felt and how wrong my feelings were. I was surprised by how easy it was to feel that way and how right it felt to justify it. I knew that this was something I had experienced many times in my life, but it was as if a wall had been torn down and I was experiencing it for the first time as it really was. I was able to see how damaging this scenario was to my spirit. These emotions had become my defense mechanism.

I have been seriously hurt, as a child, by most of the adults in my life. And, as a child, I had no control over any of the painful situations I had found myself in. I was never allowed to voice an opinion or discuss, with any of my perpetrators, how bad the pain felt. I had developed a way to cope with all that pain and not let it penetrate me. My heart had learned how to harden itself to the pain and not allow the people who hurt me back in so that they could hurt me again. In my opinion it was a brilliant defense mechanism, but to God it was rubbish and it needed to go.

Up until this time, if asked to describe myself, I would have said that I dislike people, but through this I was able to see that it is not dislike for people that keeps me from them but it is fear. I don't dislike people I fear them because of what they have done to me in the past. "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Tim 1:7)."

How unconventional yet wise was it of Him to walk me through the very thing I fear most, pain, to heal my heart.

Zechariah 6:15b (MSG)
All this follows as you put your minds to a life of responsive obedience to the voice of your God."

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

No One Gets To Walk On Water Unless They Get Out of The Boat.

5:25 PM by Christi Bowman

I woke up a little sad today. I had a conversation with a friend, the night before, and she found something that I had done, out of obedience to the LORD, to be "icky." I left the conversation asking "How could that be?" How could something feel so right to me and feel so "icky" to my friend?

That same question loomed over me as I woke up today, and a sadness settled deep inside my heart as I prepared the kids to start their day. I left the kids, at the table, eating breakfast, to ask God for direction. As I walked into my room to grab my Bible I heard Ephesians being whispered into my spiritual ears. I would like to think I am getting a little better at hearing and accepting direction from the LORD these days so I picked up my Bible and I began to read.

I liked Ephesians 3:16-20, and I would recommend to everyone to go back and read the whole chapter, if not the whole book, but for lengths' sake I am only going to look deeply at verse 20:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.

I did a word study on this verse and came up with this:

GOD MAY do what is SUPERIOR to what we know of to be EXCESSIVE, BEYOND what we ask or think, according to the MIRACULOUS power that is ACTIVE WITHIN US.

I prayed for a miracle over a man who was in a coma, and I prayed for a long time, and as I prayed I rubbed his feet, his hands, and his forehead. I told him to wake up. I told him that this was NOT God's will and that we could fight this together. Although God did not seem to miraculously provide that evening, I was not wrong to exercise the power that is within us, the church. The Bible says God MAY, but it also says "without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please Him." I went home, battle weary, from the hospital, and said to my husband,

"I did not have enough faith for the room."

I am new at holding onto this type of faith, and although my faith is growing it is no where near perfected. He gave the power to US, His church, and if we could all dare to believe, we could do a whole lot more collectively than as individuals.

God says he MAY do what is superior to what we know of as excessive beyond what we ask or think according to the miraculous power that is ACTIVE IN US. He also says that without faith it is impossible to please Him, and that BY faith Christ will dwell in our hearts that we may be able to comprehend the love of Christ which PASSETH knowledge that we might be filled with all the fullness of God.

I can't think of a miracle performed in the Bible that didn't have a human being (including Jesus) calling it down. He uses US...He places HIS miraculous power within US, and He grows our faith so that we have the faith to use it. If we never exercise this faith we will never experience the power that we have and we will never "grow up into Him who is the Head, that is Christ." (Eph 4:15.) We must have faith and believe in what we cannot see even when what is seen, with our physical eyes, seems to contradict it. We must be obedient in the little things, even if our friends find our obedience to be "icky", so that He knows we will be faithful in the bigger things that He wants to give us.

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Saturday, November 8, 2008

Opressed and Oppressors; Blessings and Curses.

10:39 PM by Christi Bowman

Kevin and I were discussing "Liberation Theology" and the famous sermon where Obama's Reverend Wright vehemently exclaims...

"God damn America!"

Kevin listened to the whole sermon, and while he admitted that Reverend Wright stands on the left side of this theology, the theology, in and of itself, is not wrong.

From my limited understanding of Liberation Theology, I gather that it is a theology based on the Biblical fact that God is the God of the oppressed and He will fight for them...so you better not be the oppressor. Holding on to that belief is not wrong and like any other theology there is a left and a right side. The problem lies in the extreme left wanting to take matters of God's judgment into their own hands and in their own timing; in so doing they give up their favored status in the eyes of God, as an oppressed people, and become judged by God as the oppressor.

Let me say that again...by removing God's hand, and taking matters into your own, you walk away from God's promises to you, the oppressed, and become the oppressor.

We were continuing our conversation when I recalled reading with Ella, in Genesis chapter 10, the story of Ham's curse. I remembered learning that it was a widely accepted view, in the church, during the time of slavery, that to own slaves was to participate in God's work. They were divinely carrying out the curse of God because the Africans were the sons of Ham, and Ham and his children, cursed by God, were to serve his brothers and his brother's children...or in other words, the world. By taking the matters of God into their own hands, they became the oppressor.

Of course, there is no proof, that I know of, that says the Africans are descendants of Ham, nor is that my point. But, what I began to ask myself was...

Is a curse a blessing?

God is the God of the backwards kingdom...a kingdom where what we view as last is in all actuality, first. He calls things that are not as though they are, and His very nature is to right wrongs. It seems to me, to be in the very nature of God, to bless the very thing He curses...while blowing our minds in the process.

Maybe, in true God like fashion, the commandment to "bless our enemies" is in all actuality, for our good (right, wrong or indifferent, it is easier for me to do things of God when I see how it works out to my benefit.) We do not have a clear understanding of what goes on in the spiritual realm, however, we do know that what we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Maybe He is letting us in on a spiritual fact...if we curse our enemies they become the oppressed and we the oppressors. He has no other option but to bless our enemies, and we will be the receivers of His wrath. In blessing our enemies we trust our fate, and that of our enemies, to the justice of God.

Could a curse be a blessing...What do you think?

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Have Some Faith!

4:31 PM by Christi Bowman

I came across I Peter 1:5 today:

Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Peter says we are kept by the power of God THROUGH FAITH.

Does that mean we have to have faith to be kept?

I did some Greek word searches via Strong's Dictionary.

kept-phrou reo-watched in advance
post spies at gates
hem in; protect

power-dunamis-abundance
worker of miracles
strength, violence
mighty wonderful work

through-dia-the channel of an act

faith-pistis-moral conviction of the truthfulness of God
reliance on Christ for salvation

salvation-soteria-rescue or safety and health

Lately I have come against some bogus thoughts on the power of God. People are quick to give up and demand nothing of God, because whatever is going on must be His will because it is happening...THAT IS FALSE...It IS A LIE...and our churches are DYING because of our LACK of faith in the power of God and His salvation.

The Greek word used for salvation is soteria. When soteria was used it meant rescue, safety, and health. The Greek word for faith is pistis, and when pistis was used it meant reliance on CHRIST for salvation. We are to rely on CHRIST for rescue, safety, and health...NOT governments, houses, doctors, and hospitals. It is our LACK of faith that allows us to find our comfort in these tangible things. Does this mean that because of our faith everything will be fine...NO...and that is where His grace is sufficient for us...but let's be honest...His grace is NOT sufficient.

Because we LACK faith we are NOT being kept.

Hebrews 11:6
Without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please Him.

To be kept in Greek (phrou reo) meant that you were watched out for in advance. It meant that whoever was keeping you would send out spies to make sure your enemies were not planning any attacks against you. To be kept meant that your future was always being watched...and because of that you were hemmed in and protected.

Our future is constantly being staked out by the power or violence of Almighty God through our reliance on Christ for our rescue, safety and health.

This concept is foreign to us because we have grown up thinking that this life is now and our salvation comes later. What a brilliant lie of satan to make God look like a liar when we feel like He has deserted us or more brilliant to get us to stop fighting for what is rightfully ours via our birthright as sons and daughters of the King. Our salvation...our rescue, safety, and health is past, present, and future...the SECOND we accept Christ...it is eternal. THAT is the hope that is within us.

Lets Have Some Faith...

James 2:18
Shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith BY my works

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Monday, November 3, 2008

Finding God in the Inner City on Sunday (2)

9:47 PM by Christi Bowman

(Continued from last post)

His name is Anthony and he is 23 years old. Anthony walked in, while I was at the counter. He entered in a complete panic begging for money. He was wearing a short sleeve shirt and I happened to see the deep cuts on his arm, among the bruises and burn marks, from his wrist to his elbow. I asked him if he cut himself on purpose and he tried to cover them up. I asked him why he cut himself and we talked for almost two hours. He was very high on heroin, and he kept passing out as we were talking. At one point he jumped up, confused. He pulled a weapon out of his pocket and threw it down on the ground. He said

"I won't hurt you...I promise."

I was taken aback and that frustrated him, but this was my first time to do anything like this. I was alone...and female...and I was nervous. I gave him a water bottle, and I fed him. He couldn't eat much...the drugs were making him to sick. He admitted that he had been homeless for 3 days now, and had already been jumped to many times to count. He was nervous and shaken up.

He was carrying with him a pair of womens tennis shoes he had found and he let me know he was saving them for a prostitute He knew. Anthony told me he knew lots of prostitutes, but he wasn't into that sort of thing. The prostitutes were his friends, and he cared about them. We have so much to learn from these people. They are better examples of the church to each other then we are amongst ourselves or to them.

He had terrible things to say about himself, his family, and his situation. He didn't believe in himself anymore. He just wanted to die. He was hoping he had done enough heroin to do the trick. I stood against the lies he believed, and I built him up in the Lord. I prayed over him before I left and I watched him walk away as I boarded the train.

I sat down in my seat, and we pulled away from the station. To be honest I was relieved that it was over. I was scared the whole time. He needed a lot of hugs and as he passed out he would fall towards me. I have trust issues of my own; I was never completely convinced of my safety. I got off the "EL" and headed towards Union Station. At 12:00 pm I boarded the train back to suburbia. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I was struck with how profound the love of our God is for the hurting of this world...individually.

God truly does count ALL the hairs on their heads. He loves them desperately and He needs ears that can hear Him, and bodies that are willing to touch people for Him. We all know that God can work miracles and save lives with or without us, but we miss out on what He wants to teach us about Himself when we refuse to go. He is calling out to each and every one of us...please GO for the sake of YOURSELVES.

I learned that God so passionately LOVES Anthony, a weapon toting, homeless, heroin addict in the inner city. He loves Anthony so much that He will tell me on Wednesday that I am not to sit around my house feeling sorry for what I do not have...but that I am to GO...and encounter Him in the world's down and out (James 2:5 MSG). I learned that He so passionately loves me that He will personally speak into my developing cynicism and save me from myself by offering me an encounter with Him.

He is my Praise and my Protector. He sends me, but He does not send me alone, and when I am at my most vulnerable He will send a very personal message to me that reminds me of who He is...even if it has to be written on a roof for me to see it from an elevated train. I learned about my very personal God who's love for us, as individuals, no matter where we are, is unfathomable. I learned that when we go to where He is and we really do seek Him we do in fact find Him...and I learned that He is more beautiful and more of a mystery than I ever imagined. I learned that I can never get enough of Him...I am addicted...I want more!!!

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Seeking God in the Inner City on Sunday (1)

3:55 PM by Christi Bowman

On Tuesday night, of last week, I decided I would not be going back for at least a while. God quickly filled the time slot. I was in the shower, feeling sorry for myself, and He said:

"Find me...somewhere else."

He brought to mind James 1:27 (MSG).

Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight...

He reminded me of the love I feel when I look into the eyes of the homeless as I roll down my window to give them change while driving down Cicero towards "The Bridge" on Tuesday nights. I never want to continue driving. I want to get out of my car and hear their stories...but we never have the time. I was to go to the city, alone, this Sunday morning, but not to the safe and glitzy magnificent mile...no, I was to go deeper...I was to take the "EL" to Cicero and touch and talk with the people there.

I would be lying if I told you I wasn't scared. I confessed that to my husband on Saturday night. Although I am an introvert, I don't like to do things alone...I am a follower...I like to be led. I woke up early and arrived at my local train station. On the way into the city I told God that I would be alright with staying near Union Station if there were homeless people to spend time with there. There were not. A police officer approached me as I stood alone on a busy city street, I guess I looked confused. He asked me if I needed help. I gulped, and with nothing better to say I told him I was looking for the 'pink line'.

He told me it was three blocks south and I began to walk. I kept reminding God that I was willing to stay right here...in this safe area of Chicago. I begged Him for a person to engage. With no luck and heavy feet I climbed the stairs to the "EL".

I got my instructions and boarded my train. The train went deeper and deeper into the city and the neighborhoods looked more and more foreboding. I was getting scared. I was very aware that I was alone and very much the minority. I looked out of my window and I saw Joshua 1:9 (NLT) painted on the slanted roof of a building:

This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

I was sure He painted that just for me.

The train came to a sudden halt...it was my turn to get off...alone. I walked out of the run down terminal, and onto the dirty streets of Cicero. I remember being appalled by the filthy streets of Manzini, Swaziland, but the streets of Cicero were no better. I started to walk down the street, but was told to go no further. I turned back, not knowing what to do, and I spotted an open Dunkin Donuts. For lack of anything better to do I walked in and bought a coffee; and I met the ONE person God wanted to love through me that morning.

(Continued)

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Three Year Old Sex Slave...

9:39 AM by Christi Bowman

Below is a story that provides for us a GLIMPSE of what goes on in the world, church, while we meet in buildings on Sunday mornings, and Wednesday nights. This is what takes place while we are at work on the days that follow. This is what is happening while we come home to our nice suburban houses, take our kids to sports practices, dance classes, etc...

At the end of some days we lay awake at night and ask God where He is in our lives...we ask why He hasn't given us the job promotion we feel we've earned...why we don't make the same kind of money as the people down the street.

Remember, God sees EVERYTHING...He sees circumstances so bad that you couldn't even begin to dream them up. God has His hands on this three year old below. Please tell me that this story puts your "problems" into perspective.

He invites us to the wedding (Matthew 22), but we refuse to come. He sends people after us, church, but we we make light of the story below, and we return to our merchandise (read it...it's in there). There does come a time when He gives up on us, church, and He sends His servants out for the people who were not initially invited...the GOOD and the BAD ( READ IT)...who do we think that is? It will NOT be us if we do NOT get on bored and become the servants that go out and get the people.

As posted on Seth Barnes blog..."Radical Living in a Comfortable World"

World Racer Marisa Banas reported this story. It is so shocking, it leaves you appalled and repulsed. But because so many children suffer like this, it demands action from those of us who sit in comfort wondering if our lives will ever count for something. If you want to help fight this kind of injustice, please contact me. It's time to take action. A first step will be to start a nonprofit that fights the sex trade and human trafficking.

This is the story of a three-year old turned sex slave. His name is Michael Angelo. The two little feet in the picture above are Michael's. He was sold for $60 US Dollars to a pimp.

Michael lives in Navotos, a community of 10,000 people who live on top of tombs in a graveyard in the Philippines. His home and those around it sit about 12 feet off Manila Bay's polluted waters. All nine of his family members live in a two-story makeshift squatter home.

Most of the bottom level is rotted out and can't be used. You get up to the top floor by climbing a slippery ladder and once you get up to the top, you realize that this family literally has nothing.

Each child has one shirt. Some don't even have pants. The baby's bottom is diaperless. He has a severe rash that makes his skin look like a thick crust. Michael spends all day alone in the house with the baby and his other two-year old brother while his father and mother go out to try to find work so that they can eat. His older siblings also spend their days trying to find work.

When the pimp came to the door with a picture in her hand, the family thought they were in luck. She promised them that by giving Michael to her they would become rich. She said, "At the age of 20 Michael will come back to you with a million dollars and you will not have to struggle like this anymore." She also promised that Michael would be taken care of and treated like a king at his new home in Japan.

The exchange was made. A child for $60.00.

One of the teachers in a nearby school found out about Michael Angelo and notified the social work department at the school. Three of the social workers decided, despite their fear, that they were going to do something about this tragedy.

They worked tirelessly to find out all the details. They discovered that the pimp worked for a couple who live and own a bar in Japan. They also sell children undercover.

The pimp became pregnant herself about four years ago. Her boss decided that she would pimp out her own child when he was around three-years old. When the time came for her to give up her son, she could not bring herself to do it. She took a picture of her son around the Navotos village to find a child that looked like her son - to sell him instead. When she found Michael Angelo, she found a way to save her own flesh and blood.

The social workers called the mother into the school, sat her down, told her the adoption was illegal and that she could be put in jail if she didn't get the child back.

The conversation lasted hours. When she finally understood that her child would be used for sexual pleasure by a man many times his size, tears streamed down her face. Still, it took her another hour to find the courage to go to the pimp's house to retrieve her son.

On June 15, 2008 at 12:00am, mere hours before the child was scheduled to leave the country and fly to Japan, Michael Angelo was back in her arms. The social worker, when asked if he might be sold again, shrugged her shoulders. "We will notify the police to arrest her is she does. She is still thinking about that million dollars."

Marisa said, "Last week I had the pleasure of photographing Michael Angelo. His face was severely bruised because he had fallen through one of the cracks in the floor. The dark color around his lips is not chocolate, it is dried blood. I don't know how he survived the fall a 12 foot fall. It's as if the Lord's hand is on this child."

"When I left the rickety house I turned back and saw his little head peaking out of a make-shift window. Through his swollen check and black eye he surprised me with a smile that radiated joy into my entire body. I saw a glimmer of hope. He waved his tiny little hand goodbye."

When Marisa left, Michael was alone in the house with his two other siblings.

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