Saturday, June 12, 2010

Religious Abuse

8:53 AM by Christi Bowman

I have read many books as of late (at least one every week or two) on the progressive Christianity side of things. I did not grow up anywhere near any kind of thought like this. I love it. My appetite for it is insatiable. Still, no matter how much of it I encounter, no matter how much I realize that this is how I thought it should be all along, no matter the confidence I gain in God and Jesus and true Christianity, whenever I encounter the littlest bit of the other stuff, It brings me way down.

A pastor that I don't know (we have an organization affiliation in common), posted on Facebook yesterday as his status update that he was putting together a message around a difficult passage in Romans. To this, a hyper Calvinist college student informed the pastor in the comments section that there was only ONE way to understand this passage, and that way is for "the elect" to be celebrating God's wrath poured on the rest of the world. He and I had a lengthy dialog, I would link to it if I could but it was on Facebook, where he used a popular demonstration of the "undeserved candy bar" to illustrate the "graciousness of God to his elect." In the end I told him how bad I felt over the manipulation of his love and his ability to see the love of God by his parents...as that was my own upbringing.

For those of you fortunate enough to not know what the "undeserved candy bar" illustration is, here you go:

"My father would come up to me and my brothers. He had one candy bar, but 3 boys in which to give it to. He gave it to my brother. Now of course, me and my other brother complained that we didn't get a candy bar. My father would answer back, "Do you boys deserve the candy bar?" As much as we would want to say yes, ultimately we have to say no. We didn't do anything to deserve a candy bar. My dad would then say, "It is my candy bar. I bought it and I can give it to who I choose. If I choose to give it to your brother, that is my decision. I didn't have to give your brother the candy, I could have given all of you what you deserve, nothing, but I chose to show my mercy on your brother by giving him the candy and I am fully right in that decision". My dad was un-equitable, meaning that he wasn't equal with all my siblings and me, which is what many parents try to do to keep the fighting down in the house. But God doesn't have to be equitable. He gives justice or Non-Justice and there is no in-justice."

Because I had experienced this myself I responded:

Ah, the old candy bar lesson...yeah...my dad did that too. I think Dobson told all of our parents to do it. It's called religious abuse. Which I am sorry from the very bottom of my heart that you had to suffer through too! I'm also sorry that you are justifying it as good parenting & making excuses for your dad...that breaks my heart...

and like the broken kid that he is, he justified it:

"First may I say.....WHAT?! The candy bar lesson did not hurt me. I have no inner turmoil, or hatred for my father, I did not suffer through that "ordeal". It is not abuse, it is a life lesson. I have no baggage from this lesson. I only have more respect for my father. That lesson humbled me before him, why? Because if I come to him with the mindset that I don't deserve certain things, than I come to him as a child who is respectful and humble when asking for something. Do I deserve the house I am in, the food I eat, the bed I sleep in, or the clothes I wear? No. I am blessed that my father taught me this lesson of being humble and not being arrogant to think that I deserve things I don't. And do you know what that kind of mindset lead my dad to do before he died in 2009? He planted 6 churches, wrote 2 books on this subject, and raised 4 children to be obedient to him. If you ask my family, they will say that there is nothing but respect and love for my late father. You fail to realize that we as humans don't deserve anything. Not life, not a redeemed soul, not belongings or food, we deserve nothing. It is only because God blesses us out of his love that we have anything. We should all be going to hell and burning there for all eternity but God decided to show some people mercy. If you don't get that man is corrupt to the CORE without God and if God doesn't hold us back we will become devils incarnate, then you will always read Romans 9 incorrectly and you won't understand why God does certain things.

The truth will set you free, but the truth might hurt along the way. I am trying to show you how the Bible describes God and just because it doesn't feel good, doesn't mean it's not true."

I thought about this conversation quite a bit yesterday in light of a story I have to tell. It is not a pretty story, but it has the happiest ending it can have given the circumstances:

I was at the grocery store with all three children by myself the other day (a mistake I try and not make) I was looking for a certain brand of something I could not find in the refrigerator section of the store (I point that part out as it was cold and I was in summer clothes.) I was freezing so all of my senses were heightened. My children were irritating each other for sport and getting louder and louder...I was becoming more and more embarrassed at their behavior. I kept reminding them to leave each other alone, be nice, talk in their inside voices, and stay out of the middle of the isle so that other shoppers could pass us by. (and get as far away from us as possible) All of the sudden my youngest let out the whiniest scream at the top of his lungs. I lost it (in the least obvious way available to me at that moment) I put on my sternest mad mommy face, (it wasn't hard) I looked right at him as I pointed and whispered in a most severe way: "I am going to tear you apart." All of the color drained from his face, his countenance dropped and he began crying in utter fear of me...I could see it all over him. It did not even take me a second to realize, with horror, what I had done. I immediately picked him up and acknowledged that I had scared him. I told him that I was very sorry. I reassured him that not only was that not possible for me to do but even if it was I would never do it. I acknowledge that I should have never said that to him and that I don't even know why I did. He forgave me and squirmed back down. He asked for reassurance: "You would never tear me apart?" I said no. I mocked myself and the children giggled...they began saying it to each other...and giggling. Every once in a while it comes back up as a game and I am reminded that mommy was not very nice and I confess that out loud. He wants me to play my part and I oblige and then he laughs...as if doing it over and over again, in a mocking way, reminds him that he doesn't have to be afraid of me.

My parents used fear and humiliation coupled with God as parenting techniques. My parents were followers of the Dobson way and I have stories that would make you cringe. I promised myself that I would never do to my children what my parents did to us...that I would never allow other people to do to my children what my parents allowed others to do, in the name of God, to my brother and I. And although I was diligent to make some changes, to my shame and horror, when I had children of my own, because it was all I knew and I didn't know how to have a healthy child parent relationship, I saw many of those parenting techniques seeping in. It broke my heart in two ways. As awful as it sounds, if I had only to deal with the hurt I was causing them I might not have found the will to stop and look for new ways of parenting...I would have thought that was the way things were supposed to be...after all it was the way things were for me. What was killing me (as selfish as it was) was reliving my own pain through the pain of my children when I would parent them with some of the techniques my parents used. My own pain was the catalyst for change that led me on this journey in search of the real character of this God I kept bumping up against.

As I write I am reminded of Matthew 7:11. It was my own selfishness that was the crucible for change not the love I had for my children. But in my "evilness" I was still able to give good gifts to my children.

I am in the process of being transformed. Much to my chagrin, a process that will never come to a complete end (I would like to know that there could come a time when I could completely stop hurting people out of selfishness) As Blanca, a friend of Sarah Miles, says in Sarah's book 'Jesus Freak':

"In six years' I've learned to be a little more of a team player...Now I yell but then say I'm sorry. We're learning how to be with each other."

Through this process, although I haven't learned to master my emotions completely in the moment, like Blanca, I have learned to say I'm sorry to my children and admit that I have been wrong...in the moment, but this has only come from the transformative power of walking as best I can muster (which isn't much) in the Jesus Way.

If this power to treat my children with far more respect than I ever received, comes from my God, than my God can not possibly be the same god that the student above describes in his comments. Yet, I know that students god. I grew up in fear of that god. I have these conversations with myself every time I encounter this other god's theology because no matter how much I learn about the goodness of God, this other god grips me with fear when I encounter it. (and I encounter it a lot), Brian McLaren, in his new book "A New Kind of Christianity" calls this god Theos. I have a lot of baggage from Theos, and it is as if God uses even my screw ups to keep reminding me that God is not Theos.

And as a side note: if there were to be a judgment like most Christians describe, and I don't think there will be (but hey we all see through a glass dimly) I don't think this same God who has transformed the kind of parent I am, could look at the paralyzed fear on the face of one of God's children (we are ALL God's children) and send them to everlasting conscious torment because they didn't have the right dogma? If God has softened my heart towards my own children it is only because God has made it more in line with God's own heart.

Thanks for being a part of one of the many conversations I have with myself to prove to myself that God is truly good and not even remotely represented by much of the Christianity I encounter...this is my life right now. If any of you who have walked similar paths have any advice as to how I can get through this phase of the journey a little quicker I would appreciate it...I hate being drug back into Theos' layer so quickly.

Labels: 'A New Kind of Christianity', 'Jesus Freak', Brian McLaren, Jesus, Religious Abuse, Sarah Miles, Theos, Transformation

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Monday, April 19, 2010

This blog has moved

9:21 AM by Christi Bowman

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Friday, April 9, 2010

Atheist God

4:54 PM by Christi Bowman

I went to see Peter Rollins last night. Incredible! Peter is a theologian from Belfast. He made some fabulous points...my personal favorite: Christianity has the only God who becomes an atheist. On the cross God doubts God. Jesus' famous last words "My God, my God why have you forsaken me."

I woke up this morning conceptualizing the Christian God as an atheist and the irony brought a smile to my face. though now, with the freedom this insight brings, I am wondering if there is a way we can begin to speak of this God outside the confines of religion.

If Jesus did indeed come to show us how to live and he died in doubt of God then: "what's good for the goose is good for the gander"

It is with great humility and the acknowledgement that I "see through a glass dimly" that I say the following:

This God does not belong to Christianity, this God belongs to the world. This God doesn't care if you can't believe in God, this God understands...because he experienced it too. Not because Jesus is God, if you can't bring yourself to believe that, but because God experiences life through each and every one of us and he experienced the doubting of God through Jesus as God also does through Richard Dawkins. God loves people...all people...beyond any concept we have of love...and God isn't mad at a single human being. I no longer like to quote the Bible to prove a point, but this is a profoundly Christan concept: "Our fight is not against flesh and blood."

Sure there may be consequences of disbelief in this life...but don't we all have areas where we live out disbelief (even if we can't admit it) and don't we all suffer the consequences in those areas of our lives...no matter who we are or what we profess?

Our disbelief and our belief have eternal consequences, but it does not effect where we will spend eternity. What does the term "eternal consequences" even mean? Christianity has made "eternal consequences" sound so horrible, when in fact the fact that I have decided to have kids has eternal consequences and if I had decided not to, that also would have "eternal consequences"...neither bad nor good...eternal consequences are what they are.

If there is an afterlife, and I tend to think there is, then we all end up in God. For me, that does not mean we all end up in whatever God was to us in this life...there is not enough unity to that...I think we all end up together in the same God. That is not to say that I believe that God to be the Christian God. I believe the God, of which I speak, is far beyond any religious construct of God.

To say this God belongs to Christianity does this God a great diservice. To say this God belongs to any religion does this God a great diservice. If we give this God to Christianity, or to any religion, than we let that one lense define this God...

Religions carry baggage...religions are hurtful. They exclude and they divide. They are not living breathing organisms in the very fact that they stop growing...they stop searching for truth. As Peter Rollins so eloquently put it last night..."religion believes for us." We stop searching when we ascribe to only one set of ideologies or limit our search for truth to a particular set of boundries.

I've recently been reading Buddhist philosophers, not because I want to leave Christianity behind...quite the opposite...I want to keep the thing that makes me profoundly Christian (belief in the Jesus way of living life) while seeking to understand the others' engagement with God.

The way people string words together has been bothering me as of late...even if those words are not being spoken directly to me. They make me uncomfortable because I tend to see people as speaking with authority on whatever they happen to be pontificating on.

One such person said something close to: atheists who are interested in spirituality are Buddhists, Taoists, or Confucians. I felt the sting of those words (even though of course he did not intend for me to) because I heard: As a theist I am not allowed to consider their thoughts as a form of engagement with God.

If this is true, than in this regard Buddhism is exclusive. There are beautiful things about Buddhism, but the very fact that it wants to exclude me based on an experience that I neither asked for nor can help, tends to build in me some resentment. Even though Buddhism cannot tell me that I cannot learn from it, on a deep level it tells me "you will never be accepted here." That breeds contempt. It is what is wrong with religion. If what I heard this man to be saying is true, then, Buddhism will not meet me where I am and walk with me. It stops me at the door and says I cannot accept you as you are.

Christianity claims to be radically different...it claims that its Christ accepts you where you are. The real Christ may accept you wherever you may be, but Christianity's Christ does not. You do not have to look far on my blog posts in the comments section to see where Christianity excludes. My last post, comment two, tells me I must believe in the literal bodily resurrection of Christ as God or my eternity is of the damnable sort. Whether I believe in a literal bodily resurrection, or not, is not the point. The fact that there is criteria is the point. What I heard someone imply regarding Buddhism, was for me exactly what Christianity is for others...and that is not Christianity...or is it? (I can run around in circles on that one point alone...but that is because I am to steeped in Christendom (whether I like it or not) and at times think in terms of God favoring one religion.) Perhaps Christianity is not so radically different after all.

I cannot help that I have experienced the sacred and therefore believe. The atheist cannot help not experiencing the sacred and not being able to believe. And everybody in between cannot help having the experience they are having and coming to conclusions based on those experiences. I cannot snap my finger for the atheist and cause the atheist to have my experience...in the same vein the atheist cannot snap their finger and cause me to experience the very things that have caused them to come to the conclusions they have come to.

None of us are deceitful in what we truly believe in our heart of hearts. If we respect each other as we walk along side each other then our beliefs can be our starting point. And the sky can be the limit as to where we end up If there is safety and warm invitation to explore.

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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Can We Raise the Love of Jesus from the Dead In Our Churches...Literally

6:42 PM by Christi Bowman

I have been reading a few liberal theologians as of late, and to be quite honest I have found them to be a breath of fresh air. They do not treat the questioning of tradition as though it were heresy. Maybe it is the lack of belief in a literal and/or eternal hell that gives them such patience, but whatever the reason they do not see any need to give the "right Christian response" to the questions people of other faiths or the people of no faith have been asking for centuries; nor do they need to instill fear or belittle their readers with shameful rhetoric should their readers be asking these questions while wrestling with their Christian heritage.

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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Questions and Thoughts about Baby Landina

11:20 PM by Christi Bowman

I sent the following letter to Shaun King, pastor of Courageous Church in Atlanta, asking questions about his efforts for Baby Landina. Although I did not know how the pastor would respond to my questions, I was not at all prepared for his response via his Twitter stream.

I was fairly shocked at being called a Wackjob and an evil stalker by a person who I respected for the amazing relief work he has been orchestrating for Haiti. My intentions in writing the letter were never cold or demeaning, but instead stemmed from a desire to seek understanding.

Perhaps I have sanctity of life issues, I don't know. My understanding tells me this is a journey and I don't have to have all the right answers today. The only way I will learn is by asking questions and feeling people and issues out as I discuss them.

I cannot guarantee you that I will in any way come to your conclusions once you share them with me, nor will I feel the need to apologize for how I see things should I choose after talking with you to keep my own current opinion regarding baby Landina.

We all see through a glass dimly. Neither one of us has the right answer. I in no way see you as an expert...you have a different opinion than me, and I am seeking wisdom.

Baby Landina has no parents and no known living relatives. She is a resident of the poorest country on her continent where without parents or relatives she will most likely end up in an orphanage with pretty poor living conditions. She needed to have her arm amputated. Forgive me if I am wrong, but third world countries don't strike me as having an over abundance of white collar jobs. Without an arm, even if she was to live, what kind of future would she have?

I am in no way advocating for mass killings of the underprivileged by asking these questions. It is just that this baby is on the brink of death, and life isn't what I would call a gift. There is tons and tons of pain in the world even for those of us that live with immense amounts of privilege. I can't imagine life being any worse and yet I know that it is for much more of the world than it isn't. A very sad reality.

God doesn't promise us a pain free existence, not by a long shot...I would even say that pain is a gift...but in that same way that Jesus tells his disciples that He doesn't give to them like the world gives to them. I'm not advocating that we let people die in order to help them avoid pain. I am saying though that I think death can be a gift. If the situation is looking impossible it may just be that God wants to give his precious 3month old Landina the gift of death.

I happen to be a universalist and believe that this side of eternity is not the only place you get to make eternal decisions...but even non universalists show grace to a 3 month old. What could she possibly need this life for at 3 months? Her future looks bleak...sure she could beat the odds, but her future is still bleak because life is bleak...whether privileged or underprivileged.

If things were lining up for baby Landina that would be great...I guess if you feel the need to stamp and shout to intervene...whatever...I just think that sometimes God wants something, but does something else b/c people ask him to...I think we should be careful and consider everyone when we are asking God to intervene...

For what reason or for whom exactly are you/we asking God to intervene? I started following you b/c I thought you had something to say, but I have been getting the vibe lately that this is a lot more about you...perhaps it didn't start out that way, but you've been getting a lot of attention and I see all the talk of awards...Are you sure you aren't doing this to be a hero? Do you plan on keeping tabs on baby Landina if she is kept alive to see what God spared her for or do you just want to see her live so you can say you made it happen?

Don't get me wrong, I think being a hero is fine...the world probably needs heroes. You have done some great things and the noise you have made has impacted thousands and may impact millions. I have retweeted you on several occasions...even prompted my husband to give money to some of the things you have organized.

Forgive me if my hunch is wrong, but I sincerely feel as though you may be crossing a line here. I do believe that God answers prayer...I believe God at times gives up what God wants for what we ask for. I personally have ceased praying for miracles like this one b/c we don't know everything...we can't possibly take into consideration everything.

For us and our kids, living in industrialized nations, life can seem beautiful and well worth living...it can seem to us that if u don't get to live you miss out...but life isn't like that for everybody.

Perhaps God is sparing her from this life b/c he doesn't want to watch what her future will be...it will hurt God to watch her live out what others must live out...b/c of this tragedy she may be getting a pass and so might God. What if you are asking God to endure pain God wouldn't have to if God takes her into his presence..what if, b/c God loves you and those you have gotten to pray, he does indeed give you what you asked? You don't have to endure what God now has to endure....you don't even have to live the life Landina has to...which will be far harder due to the death of her birth parents and a missing arm in the third world. You don't have to be Landina's child whose life will be more complicated b/c her/his mommy doesn't have an arm. Nope, you get to live your cushy American life while others suffer at the hands of your prayer...and it will all be God's will (b/c he chose to answer your prayer) and he will make something beautiful out of the mess...but you have no idea what you are asking for...

this is all emotional and so "now" oriented and bent out of your world view which isn't the only one.

I have not meant to hurt you, make you mad or anything else. I have been blunt, but that is the only way I know how to get across what I feel I need to get across. I do not wish to unfollow you because I disagree so please if you are going to respond at all do not reply with that. I respect you... Think you have good motives ect...I just have bad feelings about this and wanted to discuss/share

Thanks for your time

Christi

As you can see in the first three paragraphs, I do nothing but admit that my understanding is more than likely flawed. I was hoping to get the perspective of a man I admired from a far but was having trouble understanding in that moment. As an American, behind the scenes, I have done what I can do...given where I can give...and will continue to do so. What is going on in Haiti is beyond my comprehension. There are no easy answers.

This morning, I read, In "Conspire Magazine:"

"Close to the end of all things there is a Hello. And we realize that the end of all things is the beginning"

I have a twitter friend, Hugh Hallowell, who says:

"Jesus won't pay your utility bill, but he will sit in the dark with you"

I'm working out my salvation and doing the best that I can to make some sort of sense out of this God I am madly in love with. I mean no disrespect and am always willing to dialogue. I will be the first to admit that I am wrong...but I will need to discuss it. My favorite verse is "We all see through a glass dimly" To me that says, don't take yourself too seriously, but it also gives me the freedom to take everyone else less seriously.

Peace.

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Past, The Future, and Living in the Present.

9:26 PM by Christi Bowman

I went to the gym alone and worked out hard. My reward, as always, was a nice long sit in the sauna. While inside, I read the fourth chapter of my current book for a second time (it had blown my mind the first.) It did so again.

I am rarely competitive, except for in the gym. My competitive nature kept me seated in the sauna for five minutes longer than my usual thirty; I like to be the first one in and the last one out. I have no idea why this is, but my resolve is high and my tenacity strong. As I exited the tiny room of cedar, my body was dripping and my head and heart were pounding. I was the last one to leave, but the sauna was the only winner.

I sat down on a bench in the women's locker room, next to locker twenty six, preparing to cool down, relax, and meditate on the powerful concepts in chapter four. For a brief moment in time my body relaxed, all tension was gone, and I was completely taken by the holiness of solitude.

But, as soon as I began to enjoy my chance at reflection I felt bitterness creep into my soul. In a split second I "watched" anger and resentment steal my joy. I had stumbled upon some much needed time of solitude, and my thoughts would not allow me to stay in the present long enough to enjoy it. Instead, my thoughts began bemoaning the fact that in my current phase of life I cannot count on these times...

I came to the conclusion that I am never alone; even my thoughts disturb me. Are my thoughts me?

When I was younger, before marriage, I was scared of being alone...forever. The thought of that fear consumed me. Once married, my husband would need to leave sometimes, and the fear of being alone would overwhelm me. When I found out I was pregnant I was over joyed...I would never find myself alone again. I have been pregnant three times now and I am never alone. I often find myself dreaming of the day when I can expect to be alone...most of the time.

As I sat on the bench by locker twenty-six, thinking about the past and coveting the future, a horrible thought presented itself. It seemed to ask me why I thought, if I had yet to learn to live in the present, a future present would bring any real satisfaction? It seemed to taunt me by pointing out that my past futures had in all actuality never completely solved the problem of my existence. If marriage had not calmed my fears, and parenthood had not brought me true happiness, than why did I seem to put my hope in the fact that true happiness still lies ahead in the future? It doesn't, it never will. When I arrive in my future present, what will be there to keep me from living in that present?

As if by some gift, I saw what my older self would worry about when I finally got all the alone time I had been coveting...what will rob me of joy in the future will once again be the fear of being alone. My children will be gone and I will worry about whether I did right by them and that thought will haunt me when I am alone...it will haunt me because I spent the time I was with them coveting a future without them.

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It Should Cost Something!

8:03 PM by Christi Bowman

I found myself in the middle of a small controversy over a status update I had posted on Facebook the other day. The conversation quickly turned to a debate over wealth.

"Sometimes I am overwhelmed with passages like Luke 3:10-18 and think following Christ and U.S. culture are irreconcilable"

I have been mulling over many things these past few weeks and this discussion helped weave those many things together.

I have been wrestling, for the better part of a while now, with a God of miracles and healing vs. a God of suffering.

I think of Mother Theresa: As a nun she had taken a vow of poverty, and she lived in solidarity with the poor she was among. Before she would give away shoes to the needy she would claim. as her own the most inferior pair. Because of this practice her feet were in bad condition...malformed and misshaped. It has been said that her decision caused her no small amount of physical pain.

Mother Theressa's reality is difficult for Americans to understand, if we are honest. I think, for some of us, it would be hard to imagine taking the very worst pair of shoes...every time...but, it would also be very hard for us to understand, if we had indeed been blessed with enough insight to have that kind of humility, why God hadn't chosen to watch over our feet and keep them safe from harm. We would feel as though our great sacrifice had gone ignored and unappreciated.
before we go any farther I must state that I am a universalist. It is IMPORTANT that you realize I have NO ONE person in mind as I write this. If you disagree with me after reading (and many of you will) and you feel as though I am insinuating that the lifestyle you are choosing to live is in my opinion not the lifestyle of a true son or daughter of God than please choose to look on the bright side by keeping in mind that not only does my opinion not count for much, but as a universalist I am NOT condemning you to hell for not believing the way I do...all I want...all I EVER want is nice, civil conversation (please do not try and convince me of your rightful place in heaven...and/or mine in hell.)

In other parts of the world, where the Church is persecuted, becoming a Christian is no small decision. It is not something to be considered just because you fear the eternal flames of the afterlife or are intrigued by mansions and streets of gold. In some respects, by choosing to become a follower of Christ, in these parts of the world, you are making a decision to enter into a very real hell this side of eternity. In these places it is not uncommon, for those who are already Christians and have made the choice to suffer, to adopt a policy of making would be converts wait a minimum of two years to fully take on Christ. There hope is that these would be converts will take those two years to really consider the cost and be fully cognizant of the would be/could be ramifications should they choose to finalize their decision.

Where is American Christianity's waiting period? Why don't we have a cost to count? Could it be we got lucky by an act of chance so random as a birthright? Is it possible that there really is no hell to enter here? Might you be willing to consider, along with me, the idea that American Christianity has missed something intrinsically linked with salvation? Per chance has it for far too long held hands with the wrong side? Has American Christianity made friends in high places and become an institution of entitlement where comfort is the expected norm and the lack of it an abhorrent stench?

I argue that there is a hell to enter here and it is the hell of poverty. All of those who disagreed with my Facebook status (mentioned above) argued that wealth was indeed a blessing and insinuated, if not out right said, that I was harsh and ridiculous for even slightly insinuating that it might not be. I don't necessarily disagree (the jury is still out) that being a wealthy person could be considered a blessing, but if wealth is a blessing, and here comes the harsh part, I'm convicted that living as a wealthy person (most are considered wealthy in America) and enjoying the benefits of your wealth (myself included)...even if you give some away...while others suffer...can in no way be seen as part of that blessing from God.

A friend of mine who has chosen to enter hell, Stephen Lamb, talks often about God's economy being one where everyone has enough. I often think about how insulting the idea of this economy might be to us as Americans. At first blush it sounds like a nice idea. But if you dig deep enough into the statement it is nothing short of a slap in the face to how most American Christians choose to live. This isn't talking about raising the poor to a western middle class standard of living but rather entering into their suffering and sharing all resources equally. God's economy effects YOUR/MY life...YOUR/MY comfort!

I propose that in order to be considered a true son or daughter of God...a true walker in the ways of Jesus, we take a 2 year sabbatical from considering ourselves Christian just because we ascent to certain beliefs and we make this thing more than about acquiring a mansion on streets of gold or a getting out of hell free card. This Christianity needs to cost us something..it cost God everything! Upon his death Jesus entered into hell (Eph 4:8-10 & I Pet 3: 18) and upon making the choice to die to our flesh we need to as well.

As a minimum requirement, an act of solidarity or good faith, we should have to count the cost of leaving our secluded neighborhoods where our eyes never have to meet those of the homeless if we don't want them to, and we should move into depressed neighborhoods. I'm not talking about quitting jobs...go to your nice job, make your six figures...but if we want to be called true sons and daughters of God lets quit hoarding!

Sure, God has a permissive will. He makes the rain to fall and the sun to shine on both the evil and the good. You can be born or marry into the right family, you can have the right kind of brain, the most able of bodies, or even the best of looks...all of these things can help you earn a better living than those less fortunate and because of that you can call them blessings (although I'm not entirely convinced.) God will not smite you if instead of choosing His economy you choose to live in that of America's. But what if how we live and what we do with our wealth while those around us suffer is a test? Do you have more than enough while others do without? I know I do and I can't get rid of it fast enough.

Jesus, though he eased the suffering of many, never chose to ease his own suffering. He never really eased the suffering of his disciples either. In the gospels you don't see healing parties break out among Jesus and the twelve. God's blessings aren't for us. Jesus learned obedience through that which He suffered. True disciples choose to suffer and while choosing to suffer they pour out the blessings of God onto others!

I pray over each and every one of you the blessing of struggling with your comfort!

Peace.

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