Friday, May 2, 2008

Got empowerment?

12:57 PM by Christi Bowman

I Corinthians 4:20 - God's Way is not a matter of mere talk; it's an empowered life.

I believe this verse, REALLY believe it. I have seen glimpses of it in my own life. I have been empowered to remove some SERIOUS addictions...they are GONE now...and I have NO desire to go back to them. Now what? I became accustomed to His unquestionable presence in my life. I didn't ask Him. God just appeared. He dug in, and He called ME. Now that He has my attention, I feel like I have to remind Him that He called me, and tell Him that I am still here...waiting. I have a TREMENDOUS need for God. I have an addictive personality, and He's my drug. In the past, I have been spoiled by instant gratification from my worldly addictions...but right now I'm having to wait, and it's getting uncomfortable.

Some of His promises are that this season of Kevin's and my life is over. He is moving us on. He has let both of us know that He is taking care of our funding needs, and that He will sell our house. He has definitely been busy weeding out many things in our lives that were a part of the old season. He has brought us to this place of uncomfortable limbo, and the nudging has seemed to stop. Where did the empowerment go? I am not feeling empowered! Yet, while we are still here, in uncomfortable limbo land, He has brought into my life, a small community of hurting Christians. I thought, for a while, I might be able to help. I was living an empowered life. He was there, and I knew it. I wanted to tell everyone that I was involved with, that He could be as real for them, as He was for me. He was more than a religion, an ideology...insurance. He was a friend, and a father. He had visited me, and had done miraculous things for me...I, for the first time in my life, had gotten what REAL Christianity had to offer...a tangible relationship with Almighty God. It's not so tangible right now. These hurting Christians have A LOT of good questions, and I can't make God speak to them in a way that they can hear Him...and I can't make them hear Him. I used to have A LOT of questions for God too, but with the sound of His voice, He answered ALL of them...but what do you do when fellow sufferers can't hear His voice? Pray? I am. I can't make Him show up for them like He did for me. I want to, but I just can't.

So hear I sit, in limbo, with an addiction to a God I can't control. He works differently than any drug I have ever experienced before...yet I am always wanting more. I sense God working, although for now I can't really hear Him...or see Him. I can't go back, nor do I even desire to. I don't want Egypt, but I don't want the desert either. I want the promise land. I want abundant life everyday. I want an empowered life!

0 comments - Permalink -