Wednesday, June 18, 2008

You CAN be free through and through

7:07 PM by Christi Bowman

John 8:36 (MSG) So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.

I LOVE this verse. It is my FAVORITE verse...my life verse. I am listening to a teaching series delivered by Pastor Andrew Wommack. And in this particular series, Effortless Change, he talks a lot about knowing the promises of God, and claiming them. I claim this promise in John 8:36. Jesus set me free and now I am free through and through!

Several months ago (October 2007), I was a wreck. I hit rock bottom. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could not possibly save myself...and I was ready for something different. In stepped God, and my life has been radically changed. It didn't happen over night. It has been a journey...but a journey filled with one exciting turn after another. He freed me from ALL of my addictions...and I am literally free through and through. One of my addictions was alcohol. Yes, I am an alcoholic. I have not had a drink in over 3 months. Unlike most recovering alcoholics, I don't struggle with the need for a drink. I don't have to tell myself no every day or several times a day. It is a non issue. I don't even think about alcohol.

It hasn't always been this way. In December of 2007, Kevin, my husband, told me I was done with alcohol...and I was scared to death. I had made some pretty bad choices concerning alcohol, and had obviously become very dependent on it. I wanted to stop drinking. I knew it was hurting my family, but it wasn't easy. I liked alcohol. I liked who I was when I was drinking...and I had never liked myself before. It made me confident and carefree...emotions I knew nothing about. Giving that up was hard...and scary. I couldn't do it. On my best day I wanted to stop...I loved my family and didn't want to hurt them. Still, I liked who I was when I was drinking...and self confidence is addicting.

I didn't drink as much after December of 2007, and I stopped hiding it. Still I couldn't stop completely...and a lot of the times I would manipulate Kevin into letting me enjoy drinking occasionally...especially in social situations where drinking was aloud. I could NOT social drink. I would ALWAYS be the one who ended up getting drunk. I learned a lot about my drinking during this time. I watched other people I was drinking with, and realized that they could stop at one or two. I saw that MOST people considered one drink plenty. That concept was so foreign to me, but I did take notice of it. I also took notice that satan was really starting to use my drinking against me. During this time, when I had to much to drink, I would get really down on myself, I would see all my faults, and see my self as unforgivable.

During those three months, December through March, I also heard God tell me over and over to read my Bible. I was disgusted with that. I have always seen the Bible as a hard read, and just really irrelevant to my life. I grew up going to a Christian private school, and going to church every time the doors were open. I knew every story there was to know...even the ones people would call obscure like Eglon. I could find any passage quicker than most people. I didn't think there was anything left to learn. I didn't yet subscribe to the Bible being alive.

(cont. tomorrow)

0 comments - Permalink -