Tuesday, July 29, 2008

On the Way to The Bridge.

11:32 PM by Christi Bowman

I don't know what will come of this experience. It was exciting to hear God's voice tell me, in the moment, to be His hands and feet to another person. It was amazing. I felt God's love for someone else through me. It was profound. I had to cry afterwards. I felt all of His love towards a very broken person. I acted on it, and invited her in for more, and I had to watch her refuse the more and walk away. That hurt. But I did what He said and through all of that hurt I felt his love for me too. He was proud of me. I want to do it again!

Kevin and I go to The Bridge every Tuesday night that we can. The Bridge is an inner city ministry for people getting out of prison and for people on the street. On Tuesday nights they have three different ministers come to a Chicago church and do a ten minute sermon on a specific topic. The topic is chosen by the attendees. They are asked to put questions they have about daily life into a drop box each week. The questions are pulled and they become future topics. The Bridge asks ministers from local congregations to come out and speak so that when people return home, they will know of some local churches to plug into.

We went to The Bridge last night. On the way I asked Kevin if he would stop and buy me a cup of coffee. The minute you take the church's exit off of the interstate, you know you are not in the suburbs anymore. You exit into a pretty rough part of town, and you see all sorts of things pretty quickly. Tonight I saw a prostitute. It took me a little while to download all of the information I was taking in via my eyes. Within seconds though I knew what was going on.

I felt very sad for the woman I was looking at. She was undernourished and looked so sad. She wandered around aimlessly as if she were lost. There wasn't anything I could do for her at that moment...we were whizzing by her in our vehicle. Kevin pulled into Dunkin Donuts to buy my coffee, and as we sat waiting for our order I saw her again. I noticed her more this time because we were sitting still, and she was wandering around across the street. I wondered how she got there so quickly. We were in a car and she was on foot. I had also asked Kevin to order me a bagel, but as I waited for it and watched her I wondered if she could use something to eat. She was way to thin, and she really did look like she was walking around deliriously. I felt this strange connection with her and I knew I should ask her if she needed anything to eat. By this time she had crossed to our side of the street and was walking in our direction, but not towards us. I began thinking out loud to Kevin. I asked if it would be o.k. to offer to buy her something to eat. He said yes.

He drove towards her. I got scared a couple of times and missed her, but I couldn't give up. I was franticly looking for words to say. I did not want to assume anything. I didn't want to talk down to her. I wanted to give her the respect and dignity I would want, yet I wanted to offer her dinner. I wasn't sure what that was going to sound like. We missed her a couple more times. At one point we saw her propositioning a man in a car wash. I was sick. I thought I missed my opportunity. She walked away from him. I had Kevin stop the car, and I got out and started walking towards her. She was in front of me with her back to me. I still had no clue what I was going to say once I caught up with her. All of the sudden I was right next to her. I tapped her on the shoulder, and asked her if she needed anything to eat. I was so nervous. I thought she would tell me to mind my own business. She didn't. To my surprise she said yes.

There was a restaurant right there and we walked in. I told her what we were doing in town, and told her she was welcome. The Bridge offers dinner to everyone after the service is over, so I let her know she could get something else to eat later. I told her that The Bridge was for inmates, and people off the street. I let her know that she would not be judged by anyone...she would be welcomed. She said she couldn't come...she looked like a whore. I tried to convince her that that did not matter, but once she had her food she gave me a decisive no. She asked for my card. I made her promise to call me. Kevin wrote my number down for her, and she said she would. She said no one had ever done anything like that for her before. She told me that she knew I didn't have to help her so it meant a lot to her. I told her God let me know she needed something to eat. That was awkward. I hugged her really tight for a while...I didn't want to let her go. She pulled away and started walking in the opposite direction. Once we got turned around and back on the right street going in the right direction Kevin saw her talking to another man. I was so mad at that man for treating her like that...for looking at her in that way, for using her and continuing to make her feel as though she is worthless. She is worth so much more. She is worth EVERYTHING. The God of the Universe LOVES her. He hurts for her. I know He loves her. I know he hurts for her. I know because I love her and I hurt for her. I made it to the church, and then I ran into the bathroom and had a good cry. I cried for her. I cried for God.

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