Friday, August 15, 2008

A Spiritual Awakening

8:49 AM by Christi Bowman

I was at The Bridge again, last Tuesday night. Jed Brewer, their worship leader, said something that resonated with me in a powerful way as he got up to lead worship for the last time that evening. Jed writes his own music and it is VERY powerful. The talk was on blaspheming the Holy Spirit, suicide, and the forgiveness of sin. The Bridge attendees pick the topics by anonymously asking questions and putting them in a box...they don't mess around. It was decided that the person, wishing to discuss these topics, was really asking if God would forgive his sin personally. Four different speakers got up that night, for 10 minutes each...as is the custom. They delivered their message based on this question. At the end of the evening Jed addressed the room...He said:

"some of us are afraid that God wont forgive our sin...but some of us are afraid that He will. We all know what it's like to suck. We can't help but suck. We don't know what it is like to not suck. We are afraid of what God will do with our lives once we really accept His forgiveness. We are afraid of the unknown. We are afraid to not suck."

God has been doing some powerful things in me and through me. Things that only He can do. I have seen the Supernatural occur MANY times in the last two weeks. This has made me feel uncomfortable even downright crazy at times. I have always wanted to experience God like this, on a regular basis, but when it started to happen I became unsure of my sanity. Once is alright...you feel blessed...even wowed...and a tad bit special...but when God is heavy upon you no matter where you go, and you see Him work in the moment constantly, over the course of two weeks and he uses your physical body to bring about His will...it messes with your physical mind.

He has been faithful, and He has given me scripture to help me deal with the spiritual reality of things. I have blogged about some... John 6:29, 12:36. These verses have helped me keep my sanity. He has also given me verses reminding me of who I am and why this has now become a reality for me. These scriptures are true for ALL of us, and if we would take the time to meditate on them we could ALL realize who we are in God, because of Christ.

John1:12-13Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God 13children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

John3:6-8Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' 8The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

I Peter1:22-25Now that you've cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as if your lives depended on it. Your new life is not like your old life. Your old birth came from mortal sperm; your new birth comes from God's living Word. Just think: a life conceived by God himself! That's why the prophet said,

The old life is a grass life,
its beauty as short-lived as wildflowers;
Grass dries up, flowers droop,
God's Word goes on and on forever.
This is the Word that conceived the new life in you.

Christ is beautiful just because of who He is alone...what He did for us allows us to reach a potential that was not possible before His death. He died so that we could become who we were always meant to be. He sacrificed Himself for us so that we could experience what it is like to truly live. So many of us are NOT living. He did not die so that we could pew sit on Sundays and Wednesdays, sing a few songs, and go back to our homes and pursue the American dream. That is NOT what this life is about. We have the power to change lives...just by being...and not we ourselves...but Him through us. It is a beautiful thing and I have seen it happen more than once. We are meant for so much more. We waste our one and only life, our one opportunity to usher in our Saviour's Kingdom into the lives of others, when we sit on the sidelines of comfortable living pursuing the tangible things of this world that delude us into a sleepy type of safety. Have we missed that what we do now matters in eternity? What we live for, now, will make a difference in how we spend eternity. I have seen it.

I know what it is like to participate, only by His grace, in the lives of others. You have to trust His leading in yourself. There is no way around that. You must trust what you are hearing. That is faith. We walk by faith. God is a whisper. He is NOT loud. Satan will lie to you and make you doubt yourself. Satan is loud. That is where things become less safe. Your physical body is asked to do some strange uncomfortable things..things that seem foreign, weird, and down right presumptuous. The only way you can even begin to talk your physical body into doing these things is by knowing and believing whose you are...walking by faith, and telling God the consequences are His. He says that though in Romans 15:3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."

I am learning the truth about Spiritual words and Spiritual food. Spirit words are spirit food and as your spirit reads the words it eats the food. This type of eating allows your spirit to grow, at times while you are unaware. You become aware of your spirits growth as you draw on its strength in the moments when you are asked to do the physically strange, physically weird...the physically impossible. I am finding that the more my spirit grows the smaller my attachment to the physical becomes. It is a beautiful thing, but it brings along with it a disconnected feeling to the physical. It is lonely sometimes to be human and realize your spiritual potential. People as a whole don't understand this. I know that God has forgiven me and loves me beyond any ability I have to comprehend. I know what that means. My life is being dramatically altered all the time. I have experienced, finally, what it means to not suck...I am going to trust in that...and I am no longer afraid of it.

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