Monday, November 3, 2008
Finding God in the Inner City on Sunday (2)
9:47 PM by Christi Bowman
(Continued from last post)His name is Anthony and he is 23 years old. Anthony walked in, while I was at the counter. He entered in a complete panic begging for money. He was wearing a short sleeve shirt and I happened to see the deep cuts on his arm, among the bruises and burn marks, from his wrist to his elbow. I asked him if he cut himself on purpose and he tried to cover them up. I asked him why he cut himself and we talked for almost two hours. He was very high on heroin, and he kept passing out as we were talking. At one point he jumped up, confused. He pulled a weapon out of his pocket and threw it down on the ground. He said
"I won't hurt you...I promise."
I was taken aback and that frustrated him, but this was my first time to do anything like this. I was alone...and female...and I was nervous. I gave him a water bottle, and I fed him. He couldn't eat much...the drugs were making him to sick. He admitted that he had been homeless for 3 days now, and had already been jumped to many times to count. He was nervous and shaken up.
He was carrying with him a pair of womens tennis shoes he had found and he let me know he was saving them for a prostitute He knew. Anthony told me he knew lots of prostitutes, but he wasn't into that sort of thing. The prostitutes were his friends, and he cared about them. We have so much to learn from these people. They are better examples of the church to each other then we are amongst ourselves or to them.
He had terrible things to say about himself, his family, and his situation. He didn't believe in himself anymore. He just wanted to die. He was hoping he had done enough heroin to do the trick. I stood against the lies he believed, and I built him up in the Lord. I prayed over him before I left and I watched him walk away as I boarded the train.
I sat down in my seat, and we pulled away from the station. To be honest I was relieved that it was over. I was scared the whole time. He needed a lot of hugs and as he passed out he would fall towards me. I have trust issues of my own; I was never completely convinced of my safety. I got off the "EL" and headed towards Union Station. At 12:00 pm I boarded the train back to suburbia. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I was struck with how profound the love of our God is for the hurting of this world...individually.
God truly does count ALL the hairs on their heads. He loves them desperately and He needs ears that can hear Him, and bodies that are willing to touch people for Him. We all know that God can work miracles and save lives with or without us, but we miss out on what He wants to teach us about Himself when we refuse to go. He is calling out to each and every one of us...please GO for the sake of YOURSELVES.
I learned that God so passionately LOVES Anthony, a weapon toting, homeless, heroin addict in the inner city. He loves Anthony so much that He will tell me on Wednesday that I am not to sit around my house feeling sorry for what I do not have...but that I am to GO...and encounter Him in the world's down and out (James 2:5 MSG). I learned that He so passionately loves me that He will personally speak into my developing cynicism and save me from myself by offering me an encounter with Him.
He is my Praise and my Protector. He sends me, but He does not send me alone, and when I am at my most vulnerable He will send a very personal message to me that reminds me of who He is...even if it has to be written on a roof for me to see it from an elevated train. I learned about my very personal God who's love for us, as individuals, no matter where we are, is unfathomable. I learned that when we go to where He is and we really do seek Him we do in fact find Him...and I learned that He is more beautiful and more of a mystery than I ever imagined. I learned that I can never get enough of Him...I am addicted...I want more!!!
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